This is an exempt from a classified Gondorian report on the swordfighting skills of Star Wars characters.
Report: Swordsmanship skills of the Jedi and Sith
Date: 1/6/40 FO
Summary
It has come to pass that Minas Tirith High Command has become aware of the existence of two orders of warrior-priests, possibly not unlike the Nazgûl, known by themselves as Jedi and Sith. The meanings of these words are unknown to us, but our linguists say that the former one rather resembles Easterling words for "ruler" or "lord". At first there was a considerable amount of worry, as these Jedi and Sith are reputedly master swordsmen with a knowledge of black arts. However, we have looked into the swordsmanship of the Jedi and Sith, and can say for certain that most common soldiers could best them—even many peasants of Rohan. As for the black sorcery we are not yet sure.
The Jedi and Sith are also known to possess a weapon known as the light scimitar. This weapon reputedly cuts through anything it touches, and glows of its own like either blue, green, or red, although there are reports of other colors. However, we are confident that our superior skill with a blade will outweigh any supernatural properties of this weapon.
We begin with the respective heads of the two orders.
Yoda
This "Yoda" is the head of the order of Jedi. He is a very short orc-like creature, long of ear and green of skin. He is supposedly a very Wizard of the light scimitar.
However, we have good reason to believe that he is not a great threat at all. Though he has never been bested in combat excepting by one supposedly very powerful individual, those he did best were probably unskilled, as his approach to fighting is spinning around like a children's top while jumping this way and that. His strikes primarily seem to be aimed at the enemy's blade, and he leaves himself open frequently. When he gets in to a bind, he forcefully shoves the other blade away. It is safe to say that Prince Imrahil could slay him within seconds.
Darth Sidious
This Sidious known as Darth is repulsive of appearance, and is the only person known to have bested Yoda in single combat. However, he probably won purely by the Valar's goodwill (though one can scarcely imagine them aiding such a being), as his form seems to be even sloppier. He swings madly, without skill or even speed, and gives plenty of warning before a thrust. He also spins suicidally, as if he wishes to be killed.
Other Jedi
Most Jedi seem to bounce and spin around far too much, and often aim for the enemy's blade.
Now we will scrutinize the actual fighting styles, or "forms".
Shii-Cho
This form is identified with the sarlacc, a desert-dwelling monster. It seems to consist of madly batting at the enemy in the hopes of striking them. Its philosophy is not all lost, though, and may be useful against multiple opponents.
Makashi
This form is supposedly perfectly suited for dueling. However, this makes one wonder why they then need the other forms. In practice it rather resembles fighting on the stage.
Soresu
The third of these forms is described by our sources as "purely defensive". Its practitioners apparently teach that one should not fight except when absolutely necessary.
Ataru
Ataru apparently emphasizes using black arts (known as "The Force") to jump around and spin as much as possible. We are not worried.
Shien and Djem So
These subforms are based on using the light scimitar to deflect projectiles. Djem So also requires hitting as hard as possible.
Niman
Form six is described as a mixture of the other forms. Mixing rubbish gives one more rubbish.
Juyo and Vapaad
These subforms emphasize using anger, hate, and black arts.
Conclusion
Despite the reputation of the Jedi and Sith, we are confident that we will be able to defeat them in swordsmanship. We will in a future report look into their use of the black arts known as the Force.
Yorumlar