You can eat whatever you want with no negative effects BUT whenever you write anything, be it digitally or on paper, you will automatically add "..." to every single sentence. Your texts will look like this: "Be there in 15 minutes... Love you..."
You can fly around at will BUT you cannot use the letter "e" in a sentence (this includes all forms of verbal or written communication).
You will never get sick again in your whole life BUT whenever you cross the street you have a 5% chance of tripping and falling.
You gain 10 IQ points BUT your left knee will never. Stop. Inching.
You can run 30 mph for a full minute before tiring BUT you cannot use a microwave oven for the rest of your life, and if you eat food someone else has microwaved you will feel sick for a week.
You get 100 million dollars BUT whenever you drink water you will feel an enduring sense of guilt and worry.
Your kids all get full ride scholarships to the collages of their choice BUT you cannot walk over underground pipes.
You have a lifelong feeling of peace BUT you can never use FaceBook or Twitter again. (Oh... wait.)
All entertainment is free for you BUT every day some poor person on earth will violently stub their toe because of you.
You will be the best joke-teller in history BUT if you make eye contact with your reflection a small child somewhere will start crying out of nowhere.
Your car will never have to have gas refills or oil changed BUT every third word of whoever you are talking with will be bleeped out.
Your taxes will always be free BUT every time you go to the bathroom something will go wrong.
All your relationships will be happy and prosperous BUT with every time you make a new friend another species of animal will go extinct.
You can jump 35% higher BUT you will always look 35% higher (in the other sense of the word).
Be sure to comment below with some of your choices!
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